I came to the Program in August 2001. see www.carolinasprings.com or www.magnoliachristian.com In the beginning I thought I didnʼt belong there. Then I started to listen to what the people told me, and I took opportunities I was given to share in group. Somewhere along the way I remember realizing that I hated who I was, hated my life, and I wanted to change. I had wanted to for so long, but being in the middle of my stuff, I didnʼt know how. That point is when things started happening for me.
I remember my Discovery, Focus, Accountability, Keys, and PC1 . . . all the way up to my first visit. I knew my parents were like super-glued type of committed, there was no way I was going to get them to peel off it.I remember seeing so many people I loved leave. Some graduated, but most got pulled early. I remember hearing updates on some of them. There was no guarantee of success either way. Some grads failed, and some succeeded. Same with those who got pulled. In my quest for my own program completion commitment I looked at these peopleʼs lives. It helped to have no choice, and yet I
knew that wasnʼt enough. I had to want it for myself.
I remember one day talking about it to the girl who had been my HOPE buddy. She told me some people need to have graduation and all that it
offers, and some donʼt. I decided then I was one of the ones who needed it all. Once I decided to be committed I had to stay committed; that was the hard part. I remember so many times I thought I was getting pulled. Even on a couple of my home passes it was rumored that I wasnʼt going back. In the beginning of these doubts about graduation I was all for leaving. I see now how it progressed to tears at the thought of not staying.
offers, and some donʼt. I decided then I was one of the ones who needed it all. Once I decided to be committed I had to stay committed; that was the hard part. I remember so many times I thought I was getting pulled. Even on a couple of my home passes it was rumored that I wasnʼt going back. In the beginning of these doubts about graduation I was all for leaving. I see now how it progressed to tears at the thought of not staying.
I achieved Level 4 in 5 ½ months. I was almost a level 5 and I dropped myself for the first time to Level 3. I had the opportunity to write a grievance, and I know I would have gotten my Level back. For weeks my Family Rep hounded me to write one. Weeks after that she would remind the group,
and me, about where I would be had I “been assertive and filed that grievance”. I knew then I needed that chance. I know now, that had I not taken that opportunity, that drop, then I would have gone on in my program and gone home a person I donʼt want to be. Itʼs the same with graduation. Had I not completed this Program I wouldnʼt be who I am today. I love myself. I never did before entering the Program. Nor had I dared follow my dreams with music like I am now with all the determination and confidence I have in me.
Thank you Mom and Scott, thank you CSA, thank you God, and most of all a big thank you to me! Now, I am a worthy, risking, beautiful, and confident
young woman, and itʼs because of me.
young woman, and itʼs because of me.
I made a choice.
